Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Evil Genius Blogfest!

The Golden Eagle is hosting a Blogfest here is my entry:

Fore Edgar Rice Burroughs

Mechanical men, row upon row of clockwork killers, razor sharp spines and karate hands of steel, lined up to do no good. Professor Gottlieb, the iron of his metal face glinting in the sun, laughed out loud: “I have won! My robot ruffians are poised to kill, you have no choice, you must bend to my will.”

Gottlieb, this evil genius whose face had been destroyed in a terrible accident when a pterodactyl had become enmeshed in the Bessemer Converter, his magnificent mind twisted beyond the reason of mortals. The demented scientist had manufactured a horde of automaton assassins and here they were before the very gates of the city.

I stood on the parapets and watched the implacable army of androids approach the peaceful city of Widnes. When Gottlieb had demanded that the honest citizens of the last city on Mars appoint him Tourist Czar, we thought him crazed. As the heat death of the universe grew ever closer, there were no visitors, for there were no other life forms, the stars had gutted, only Widnes remained. A dying city its glories so long gone, none could remember them.

“The jig is up, my time is at hand! My malevolent machines await my command.” His cackles muffled by his iron face, the jaw clanked as he continued: “I am the brainiest of chaps, I shall put Widnes back on the map, crowds shall flock from far and near, the city will thrive, the people cheer!”

“Oh you stupid, clever man, whose face is like an old tin can, there are no more life forms anywhere, the universe grows cold, entropy wins, do you not care?”

“Pah! Climate change was never true, entropy is a lie, you speak to make me blue.” Pushed too far he screamed out orders, the wind up warriors tottered forward. I yelled to the troops “Prepare for boarders!”

Clattering their lethal blades, the murderous machines advanced. Pumps primed I waited until we had their range and signalled the men. With a roar the jostling jets of salty water flew forward, soaking the delicate devices that powered this heartless horde. Screeching, screaming and skittering the invaders ground to a halt then tumbled to the red sand. Gottlieb was speechless, the water had rusted his jaw shut.

“I see for once Professor, you are at a loss for words.”


  1. Just the name "Gottlieb" stirs up the image of mad scientist.

  2. you have such a gift for language, this was a great entry

  3. Loved reading your entry! And I like the twist at the end--"at a loss for words", now there's a great comeback.

    Thank you for participating. :)

  4. I love your mix of genres! So clever and fun! My favorite line: “Oh you stupid, clever man, whose face is like an old tin can, there are no more life forms anywhere, the universe grows cold, entropy wins, do you not care?” :D

  5. I enjoyed this. My friend Emma Calin called me to point you out. If any more Iron Ladies appear we will have a strategy will we not? Great comic fun. I've been reading your poetry - wow. Any collections available?

  6. I'm a bit late in reading all the Evil Genius entries but I wanted to read all of them so ... here I am! This is really funny! Very clever. The rhyming Evil Genius reminds me of those silly Disney villains who always sing about their next great evil deed.

    Great job!
    Nice to meet you!

  7. Susan: Gottlieb is an interesting name for a villain, I agree.
    Sylvia: thank you, it was a fun to write and a great challenge.
    Golden Eagle: thanks for setting the challenge it was fun to play about with the idea.
    Peggy: the idea of rhyme just came as I was writing the post, it seemed like a good idea, glad you like it.
    Oscar: Thanks I have a new collection out very soon, the old one will be an ebook in the near future.
    Jen: Thanks, glad you liked it. Nice to meet you.

  8. Great story! And congratulations on winning!