Friday, 25 September 2020

THE STREET LAMP PATTERNS


Two rewrites this post. As usual thanks to the Secret Poets for their invaluable suggestions. You can read the previous versions here and here.
The sequencing of the poem has changed for the better and references to the other poem about tinnitus has been removed

Tinnitus 2


In the night, when I awake

the street lamp patterns

leaf shadows on the blinds,

ancient music in my ears.

This is growing old:

in my left ear three notes

played on a piano accordion,

stuck on repeat, plenty of sustain.

The right carries the sound of the sea.

The poem is tighter, more economical. 
A line has been removed in this poem and it reads better for it.

the water cycle

on his drawing the rain fell up

he did not give a fuck

for the teacher’s laboured explanation

or his laborious chalked illustration

he simply had a need to see

the world as a place where water could soar skywards



I know I ramble on about the importance of getting constructive feedback but it is really useful. Thank you Secrets.
Adam Beattie has a new album out in November.  Here is the single.

And this is my favourite song by Adam.

Until next time.

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