Thanks go once more to the Secret Poets who could see the shape of this poem so much more clearly than I could. You can read the previous draft here. I have though [all by myself] added a title.
he was complimented on the rainbow
his photograph deftly captured
the fine graduation of colours
which was due to the large amount of water
that had tumbled from the sky
over such a short period of time
he added an explanation
how the deluge had almost
overpowered the windscreen wipers
he thought of the man in vest and shorts
who attempted to out distance the rain
how his pale pink top darkened
as he panted towards a solitary tree
whose scanty branches
could offer no shelter
There was some confusion over exactly what the narrator was doing with the photograph, why they needed to add a story, were they a journalist? I had not seen them as such. I was thinking they had been refining a story, a tale to tell others, as we all do.
The vision of others can help to improve our work beyond our imaginings. I suppose it's a riff on the old saying "many hands make light work". Something like many poets make for clarity.
Thank you Secrets.I'm working on a poem that mentions Calypso, the sorceress and the music, so I am leaving you with Roaring Lion from 1938. The song concerns the mysterious conflagration of a number of theaters in Trinidad.Until next time.