Friday 25 October 2024

DECONSTRUCTION OF THE HEART

This week I attended a new local spoken word evening. It was an interesting event, although I could have done without the drunken man in the black overcoat and hat who talked all the way through the evening oblivious of what was taking place around him. It is unusual to encounter such a level of self-absorption. He was talking about the great Sam Cooke some of the time and insisting that his swan song, A Change is Going to Come, was entitled A Change is Coming... Close but no cigar.

With the assistance of the Secret Poets I have redrafted this week's poem. You can read the pervious incarnation here.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY


A Friday night hotel bar

he’s a couple or three drinks ahead of me

his every word is big voiced into his phone


he is deconstructing his heart


I’m the other side of a flimsy partition

trying to camouflage my listening ear


I can’t pull out pen and paper

to record his every heartfelt word


Can I?


The poem wags a finger in my face

Whispers: this one’s not going to happen

As you can see I have removed a line that was superfluous and respaced the poem. I am still not sure of it amounts to anything serious, but I am satisfied with it. 

I suppose given the poetry evening events I should leave you with Sam Cooke. 

Until next time.         

2 comments:

  1. It is a good feeling - knowing that a poem is finally in its best version! I think the space around the question (Can I?) provides the perfect pause! - Rajani (http://thotpurge.wordpress.com)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Rajani, it's good to hear a confirmation

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