UNIQUE COMBINATIONS

A more personal poem than usual this post.
I have been working on it for some time now and I owe thanks to the Secret Poets for their constructive feedback. 

Sunset

Running moorland streams,

the rush of water from wherever

to this precise point, now,

the moment we reach the edge,

five different lives down by the river,

watching migrant molecules conjoin.

We arrive on this planet

to arise from the plainest of carbon.

Life makes unique combinations

from the simplest of atoms,

just like your life,

whose ending we mark this night.

It is my turn,

I tip your ashes,

the water clouds

then clears.

I am not sure that the middle stanza works as clearly as I want it to. Essentially what I am trying to convey is the wonder of life, how the disparate atoms and elements transform for an all too brief time and enable our individual consciousnesses to experience this world.
But I also want to keep the whole poem low key and simple, straightforward and descriptive.
Phew! Not trying to do much then eh?
I feel this poem requires another rewrite.

I have been listening to lots of Manu Chao lately, it could be because Clandestino is next to the CD player in the kitchen or it could just be because it's a great album.

Until next time.