Friday, 10 May 2019


A short, new poem to begin. It concerns the removal of a clock from the side of a building. I was stood there looking at the space where the hands had been and it prompted me to write this.

now the hands have been removed
there is little indication
that this wall was once graced by a clock
those trapeziums of grey plastic
which once quartered our days
now look like forgotten decorations
for an event no one can quite bring to mind

I also wrote this at the same time. I am not sure which is worth saving.

all the clocks have been removed
and the marking of time
has ceased to be a public service

you can no longer gaze
as the hands creep round the face
because everyone of your minutes
must be accounted for

Here is a revision. You can read the original here.

arms length

he is a big man
and fills the opened door

feel the air
moved by his mass

the argumentative lens of the camera
slung around his neck
points from his chest

slow footed across the public space
he spills on to the sofa

unless his hands hold objects
he raises the camera
begins to look at the world through the tiny screen

the stutter of the shutter
bounces round the room

What has changed? Well there is a line break between the second and third line. This allows the reader the chance to move from looking to feeling. The third from the end line: a comforting distance has been removed. 
When discussing the poem with The Secret Poets it was felt that it was a telling rather than showing line. So it came out. A good rule of thumb is show not tell.
Thank you Secrets.

I came across a live video of Natalie Merchant today from 2016. Needless to say she is superb. Enjoy.

Until next time.

No comments:

Post a Comment