A rewrite this post. I was looking over some poems from last year and I saw how I could improve this poem. You can read the earlier version here.
the secrets of the sun
hide in plain sight
but you need asbestos eyes
to clock the beauty
of hydrogen becoming helium
some have tried
Milton for example went blind
hunting solar flares at noon
through a borrowed telescope
but all you have to do
is accept what you are given
welcome the sun’s light on your skin
it really is as simple as that
Well, the last line of the first stanza stood out as being rather ungainly. Plus the conclusion seemed clunky. I think it reads better now and it may be there!
Lizzie Nunnery and Vidar Norheim have a new video out. The new album is excellent. I shall review it soon but here is Magical Times.
Until next time.
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