A revised poem again this post.
To be honest I am finding it difficult to write at the moment. I am managing to revise though.
You can read the last version of this poem here.
Wallshill summer 2020
the three of them
by the wire fence
by the flowers
by the memories
by the sign that reads
Danger Crumbling Cliffs
the other side is all space
and sea and rocks
they take in the parked cruise ship
waiting it out in Lyme Bay
the views are amazing he tells them
you only live once
and like the gentleman he is
he parts the wires
so they can limbo through
doesn’t matter if you dieI have changed the final stanza around. Moving some of the man's conversation until after the three clamber through the fence.
I discussed the poem with the Secret Poets and we agreed that moving the final line of dialogue and making it the last line heightened the tension, making it somehow more final, a conclusion.
Brooke Sharkey has just played a concert at Green Note and it has a limited viewing period. If you watch it and I advise you to, Brooke is superb, as always, then please donate via Paypal. Musicians are suffering terribly at the moment.
I leave you with Brooke.Until next time.