A revised poem to start with this week. I shall not, though, bang on about the importance of revising your work. Save to say that sometimes simply not looking at a poem for a week or two will show up its flaws.
Essentially a friend had the idea that, as they walked home, each raindrop was a note of music by Ralph Vaughan Williams. I liked the conceit so much I decided to steal it!
Here's Will Varley.
We
are at table and there are statistics.
Not
the obvious count of knife and fork and spoon,
or
the percentages of dishes with no meat.
One
of our number informs us:
the
average academic paper is read by ten people.
I
should have been embarrassed,
but
I crowed how many visits my blog receives.
These
are the overtures, mere distractions,
the
real equation leaves me speechless.
Fist
let me give you the context,
my
friend has worked in China for the past year,
this
meal is a celebration of his return,
and
he interjects, cuts across our cosy conversation.
Mao,
he was told had been
seventy
percent right, thirty percent wrong.
It
is better to admit your hero has feet of clay,
to
divert attention from famine,
the
social dislocation of Mao's final years,
and
all those ghosts.
The
ones that now stand round this table.
So
many in fact that they form an orderly queue
down
Catherine Hill and beyond Frome to the sea.
We
briefly discuss these percentages,
then
the talk returns to:
the
food we are enjoying;
the
band we going to watch;
house prices, books we have read.
We
rise to leave and find we must
shoulder
our way through the ghosts.
Though
they do not follow,
I
feel their eyes on my back.
This next poem is again a work in progress and is based on something someone said to me.
MOMENT
Then
as he walked home,
across
the fields, the way he had come,
rain
began to fall.
Dives
and Lazarous in the first few thin drops,
as
if that rich man held the purse strings of the clouds.
He
moved through Thomas Tallis variations,
and
as the rain became heavier,
he
could hear all of Vaughan Willams' music
in
the fat drops that fell onto his head
and
ran off his shoulders and down his back.
By
the time he reached his house
the
sky was an intricate lattice of music,
which
followed him inside and into the shower,
chiming
off the tiles as mute water sloughed the music off his skin.
Essentially a friend had the idea that, as they walked home, each raindrop was a note of music by Ralph Vaughan Williams. I liked the conceit so much I decided to steal it!
Here's Will Varley.
ooh the last two lines of the Friday poem.......can I pinch for the novel? thanks. Brilliant.
ReplyDeletemean the ghost one..... and you are quite right...leaving a piece of writing for a while does show up its flaws...see these two comments...
DeleteThanks Carol. of course you can have them for your novel.
DeleteIn this fast world that promises instant gratification the idea of leaving something to mature seems very sensible.